What Do I Really Want?

I always ask this question: "What do I really want?"

A lot of times I get to hear words like: dream big! Know what you really want! Aim high! Set your goals! Etc. But they are all clichés to me; familiar words with no substance, no concrete meaning. Hence, no explanation why I should take action.

What is a dream?

For me, a dream is something you want to achieve in the future. "In the future." I think there's something wrong there. If you want something, wouldn't you want to have it NOW? In the moment. That should replace "in the future"

Ironically, there's another meaning for the word dream. It's an illustration, a story, an event we experience while we are sleeping. I don't believe a daydream is really a dream. Just like how I believe that a blackboard is not really black. Or a bookworm not really a worm. A daydream is just a mental escape from what's really happening at the moment. No, I don't define it as imagination. Let's stick to daydream is a mental escape, okay? I believe that a dream that happens while we sleep involves every aspect of a human: body, soul and spirit.

Is a dream equal to a vision? Is it equal to a goal? They say it's different. I still don't get the difference. It's just wordplay. I say they all give direction for us to be guided where we are heading.

There's a time for everything. At the age of 65, I don't really KNOW WHAT I WANT because I'm not yet 65! Ever heard of the term "living in the moment"? I think that's my principle in life. Live for today.

Can we really plan our future? To make a blueprint of the specific things we will have? Yes! But will we achieve them exactly as planned? Maybe.

Faith.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Assurance, certainty, confidence. That's faith! Where do we get our faith? From God. It's a gift. Can you ask for a gift?

Imagine it's your birthday today. Are you expecting a gift from someone? May it be material or not, we do expect, right? Or is it just me? Well, I expect people to be nice to me when they know it's my birthday. Whenever I ask a gift, the people I asked from never fails to give it to me upon agreement. Of course, there are adjustments because even if they are willing, they are not able most of the time. But God is both willing and able so whatever we ask of Him, He will give it as a gift.

There are gifts given to us that we do not appreciate that much, right? Or sometimes, we ask and say: "why this gift? I don't need this! It does not go with my personality!" But I believe there is a time for that gift to be used.

To be honest, I received a lot of gifts from friends and family that I have not used until today. Once, I even saw a gift to me from more than 3 years ago that I hardly even opened. And I still cant understand how I can use it. I might give it away to someone who needs it more. Is that wrong? If you give me a gift and I gave it away, will you be offended? Some will, some won't. Personally, if I gave a gift I really thought of and gave it to someone and he/she gave it away, I won't be offended. Why? Because it's a gift. I don't ask payment for it. I usually give gifts to people I appreciate. It comes at a different level depending on my situation at that particular moment. I don't expect anything in return (most of the time.. Hehehe).

God gives gifts to those who ask of Him. He gives it generously without looking at how faithful that person is. What you do with your gifts from God depends on you. Will he take it away when you don't use it? Maybe. I need to check on the bible for that. Parable of the talents? Are gifts=talents? Not yet sure.

I think there are default gifts within us and there are those we ask from God. I need to research about them.

So what do I really want?

I want to live my life to the full for God because my life is a gift from Him.